Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Harvynna's Oedipal phase




It's very normal for a young child to express preference for one parent or primary caretaker. There is a normal developmental stage called the oedipal phase, which usually occurs between the ages of three and five, when children exhibit a dramatic preference and attachment to the opposite sex parent and show considerable hostility to the same sex parent.




That's whats happenning to Harvynna now. She clearly shows a preference to her daddy and is constantly fighting with me and can drive me up the wall at times. She is very smart and knows how to get a way and when to be nice to me, as I am normally the one to buy her stuff and take her places. That's when she will give me that million dollar smile and say, 'Mummy - I like you'




However, the moment daddy comes home, she starts this war against me. She blames me if anything goes wrong and gives all credit to daddy.




Me: who bought you your Dora's dollhouse?


harvynna: Daddy! (ya, right)


Me: Who buys you all your nice clothes?


Harvynna: daddy


Me: What does mummy buy you?


Harvynna: Nothing!


Harvynna: daddy - you bought me my dora dollhouse, right (with that grin on her face)




At night, when I bring her to her room - after reading her her books, she will start whining: I want to go to daddy. I want daddy.




Me: Why ?


Harvynna: I love daddy


Me: What about mummy?


Harvyyna: mm


Me: Mummy?


Harvyyna: mm


Then she runs out of the room to join daddy.




The other day, I hit her because she threw this toy plastic elephant and it hit my head, missing Rowena by inches. She wailed and ran to complain to daddy - 'mummy beat me! Accidently hit only'




Sometimes, if she is in the mood, she will ask me to leave the room. 'Only daddy, Rowena and Harvynna can sleep here - mummy you go to the other room! 'Then she starts kicking me.




Gosh - sometimes, I just scream at her like there's no tomorrow!

15 comments:

LHS said...

Haha..she definitely sounds like doesn't like you la..but i guess her deep inside still loving you. don't worry.

Mommy to Chumsy said...

Gosh...she really likes her daddy eh? Is it because daddy doesn't scold her that much?? I think Ashley would prefer her daddy too when she goes through this stage cos mommy always scold her ;P Tks for sharing this info...i didn't know about the oedipal phase :)

Anonymous said...

sounds like ashley is in the 'daddy' phase too

Anonymous said...

oh dear,,,i will feel so sad if this happens to me...done so much and not appreciated! sob sob..

Anonymous said...

btw have we met before??? u look awfully familiar and i spot someone in the first photo at your hecticv weekend post that i oso know...hmmm

CL said...

Daddy girl, isnt she?

Thanks for sharing this info. Have no idea about this.

Anonymous said...

I've learned something today. I guess my hubby will be very happy to find out about this phase 'cos he always wanna be the good cop.

Princess Mom said...

Hui Sia - I hope so. I hope this phase wont last long!

Mummy to Chumsy - i was determined to find out about this, so i checked the website and realised there is such a thing. Phew!

Mom2Ashley - initially I thought Harvynna was like this because I give too much attention to Rowena

Laundryamah - welcome to my blog! The picture in the previous post is not me - that's Asha's mom. Have kept my face hidden for a while. Nevertheless, we may have met before

Vien - yes, my hubby is very proud of this phase :(

Princess Mom said...

Malaika's mummy - she definitely is!

chanelwong said...

don't worry..Jeriel also the same thing..everything PaPa..
Happy Birthday to 2 pretty Girls...

Nadia said...

Thanks for the info! I guess in 2 years' time Irfan will start 'loving' me more, ey? Hahaha!

Don't worrylah, Harvynna loves you to bits. It's just a phase.. ;)

TheBlueRanger said...

I will be very upset if Ethan prefers other people than me. I hope it's just a short phase thing that they will go through.

Your princesses are very adorable. Makes me want to try for a girl...hehe

etceteramommy said...

You must be like me, the garang one rite??? :P

mommy of 3 angels said...

aiyooo so geram rite..u do all the work and get no credit...so unfair...sounds just like real work...eh why dun u let daddy do all the dirty work also la...then see he likes to be the "fave one" or not! heheheh

jazzmint said...

aiyo...she really said that!!! OMG!!! If me vy heart broken liao